How many of you expect perfection? In yourself, in others? I know I do, way too often, actually. I always have a plan in mind, and when it doesn’t go accordingly (as life so often does), I tend to beat myself down. Looking back on my life, I have realized that I have spent far too much time in those little pity parties when I should be getting back up and trying again.
That is all about to change.
I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we all have fears, worries, and worst-case scenarios. So, let’s have a little confession: what worries you the most?
For me, there is a broad side and narrow side to my biggest worry. I am worried that I will wake up twenty years from now and realize that I ended up in the kind of life I don’t want: stuck in a dead-end job I hate, unhappy and unfilled, having never seen anything outside of the same little town I grew up in. As I have mentioned in previous articles, Morgan is a wonderful place, but when you’re born with a seed of wanderlust in your heart and curiosity about the outside world like I was, it seems more like a cage. That is my biggest worry. I don’t want to live with a bunch of what-ifs. I don’t want to look back on my life and see nothing but missed opportunities and question marks. That’s what this blog is supposed to be: a record of all the things I have done to leave this cage.
But now, it’s time to be real, guys. There is another piece to this worry, a more imminent part. I am scared. I am scared that I have misread every feeling I have ever had about moving out of state, that I will never leave Utah. As most of you know, my goal is to move out of state for school. Well, it is application time, and, seeing as I picked the schools that have a 20%-30% acceptance rate, I am worried that I won’t get in. I am worried that am I wrong.
Now, the real question is: what do I do with that fear? I have some options. I could just accept defeat now and not even bother applying. After all, if my chances for acceptance are that low, why bother? That is a surefire way to turn myself into a liar and a fraud. I could apply without any real effort and just prepare for my rejection letters. Again, I would just become a liar. Finally, I could give every application every ounce of effort I have in me and wait for the acceptance letters, believing with every fiber of my being that they will come.
I know which option I choose. I must give it my all, or I can guarantee that I will wake up in twenty years with nothing but regret. So, I’m asking you: what option are you going to choose? We all have that one dream, that one idea that we want to execute more than anything in the world, but, as human nature tends to do, we’re all terrified of failing that dream. Yours may be vastly different from mine, but I know you have one. Even if you don’t know what that dream is, there is one there. Find that dream and give it your all, or regret will be your best friend, too.
Unfortunately, human nature dictates that that fear will not disappear once you decide to give your dream every effort. If anything, that fear will grow. The more you want something, the more you have to lose, the easier it is to let yourself down. So, how do you deal with it?
- You have to use it. Decide right now not to let that fear control you. Use it to fuel your pursuit of your ultimate dream. Think of that fear as your own personal antagonist. The more it says you can’t do something, the stronger you get in that area just to prove it wrong.
- Accept it. I know this one is going to be hard, but the sooner you accept that that fear isn’t going anywhere, the sooner you can take its power away.
- It’s okay to be human. It’s okay to feel those emotions every once and awhile. If you need to cry, then cry. You are human. You cannot hold it all in forever. Give yourself a break. Then wrap it up, dust yourself off, and get back to work.
- Find an outlet for those emotions. Some of you may only need ten minutes to yourself to clear your head. Some of you may need music or a movie. For me, it is a pen. I keep a journal and write in it every night before bed. I unload everything onto those pages, and when I wake up in the morning, I have a fresh start. Find whatever works for you and use it.
- Finally, you have to accept that you will let yourself down. You are going to fail, but when you do, you have a choice to make: let your failure be the end and decide your fate or take it as a learning lesson and try again.
You are human. So am I. But I am not going to let that fear stop me from doing what I love and creating the life of my dreams. Take it from me, living in fear is not living at all. I won’t do it anymore, and I don’t want you to, either. So, decide. Now. Take control of your life. Trust me, there is nothing more freeing.
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